As most of you know by now, I’m spending my weekends building a patio in the back yard. (For anyone that’s just now figuring this out, be happy that you’ve been spared my near-constant project storytelling. It’s seriously, the only thing going on with us right now, aside from Tuesday night drinking.) But trust me, you haven’t missed much yet, mostly “and then I moved across the yard.”

Back story: We haven’t really used the back yard for anything other than lawn-mowing practice and a failed attempt at growing some herbs. And we don’t really have a front-yard space private enough to sit outside and eat a meal or hang out with friends and family. So, we’re building our own little retreat. One that blocks out yipping dogs, car noise and weeds from the south and gives us a flat area on which we can put a picnic table and some chairs. The patio is the first step. As an added bonus, I’ll also be getting rid of most of the back yard grass, which, if you’ve seen the any of the front yard this summer, you’ll agree is probably for the best. (Thanks, fungus!)

So, we decided we want a patio. Now what? I’m not exactly Bob Vila, so it took a couple weeks of talking about a design — this was in April, I think — which led to a couple weeks of thinking about a design that finally gave way to a couple weeks of planning for the design. All so I could put off the actual implementation of the design. We knew we wanted to do it ourselves to save the money and I knew that there were plenty of good tutorials on putting in simple brick patios.

The actual work started with the old “step it off then draw a crude sketch from memory” plan, which you’ll see below. (Note: For a while we entertained the idea of a small firepit. I think we’re skipping that now. But the heated stripper pole option is still in play. Click image for larger version.)

But since I have no imagination, I still worried about how the finished product would look. So, I stayed up late one night teaching myself how to use Google’s 3D modeling program called SketchUp. Too many hours and too many beers later, we had a visual plan.

At this point, there’s really only two options: procrastinate because you’re still terrified, or buy the blocks and start digging. After another week of thinking about it, I chose #2.

As you can see from the pictures in the gallery at the bottom, the yard sloped pretty severely from east to west, which meant there was a fair amount of digging to be done to get the space level enough to put the patio down. So, I went to Lowe’s and bought a couple shovels, a level, a hand tamper, some string and some stakes. I’m pretty sure I remember standing there, staring at the different options, then shrugging, saying “Let’s do this” and walking up to the counter. There’s really no other way to start a project like this except to just jump in.

I decided to cut the digging in half by taking dirt from the high side and adding it to the low side. And by the end of the first weekend of work (Sunday, Aug. 1) I had made pretty good progress with the leveling. Obviously, still much to be done, but I had successfully converted our sledding hill into a mud wrestling pit. Not bad for the first two days.

Next up: the stones. Lowe’s has a sweet little project planning booklet that helps idiots like me figure out how much to buy. And with a retaining wall to build, thanks to the slope of the yard, there was the added complication of getting wall stones and capstones. “What are the dimensions of your patio?” the booklet said. “Insert that number here. Here’s how many stones to get. Here’s how much crushed rock you need as a base. Here’s how much sand to you’ll need.”

I fully expected to get a bunch of questions when we walked in to buy this stuff. I imagined the guy behind the counter staring at me like I was an alien when I asked him for several hundred patio stones. In the end, it was almost TOO easy. I wanted someone do say, “Do you know what you’re doing, little boy?” so I could just give up and hire someone. No such luck, so the show goes on. Final block-purchase tally:

300 – 12 x 12 patio pavers
300 – retaining wall blocks
75 – wall capstones

(Good thing Home Depot delivers.)

But I figured out quick that big-box home centers aren’t the place to get the dirty stuff — crushed limestone and sand aren’t cheap if you’re buying it in bags you can carry. So I made a couple calls to local landscaping / contracting businesses, which, again, wasn’t as painful an experience as I imagined it would be. They’re well-versed in conversation with guys who call and say, “Uh, hi. I’m putting in a giant stone patio in my yard and I have all the stones. But apparently you have to put rock down under it to help with drainage. So, uh, can you guys help me with that?” Thank you, patient receptionist lady.

By the end of the week, I had six tons of patio blocks AND six tons of raw materials sitting in my driveway.

(Word to the wise: When the contractor offers to put the rock in separate one-ton bags, you tell them yes. Even if it’s an extra $10 per bag. It’s definitely a tactic they only use on the home-improvement rookies, but the bags keep the yard (and the neighbors’ yard) from turning into a beach.)

Weekends No. 2 and 3 were more digging in 100-degree weather and the start of the trench around the outside of the patio where the retaining wall would sit. Plenty of sunscreen, sore arms and slow marches inside to ask Stephanie for another beer.

This past weekend was kinda fun. I finally got to put some pieces into place. Even though it takes five or ten minutes to get each stone level on the first layer of blocks, it’s nice have some real progress to describe to people, beyond “Our pile of dirt is larger and smoother.” After four weekends, I’ve spent probably 20 or 25 hours working in the yard and I actually feel pretty good about the progress, especially when you consider I’ve worked alone (which has been by choice — I’ve had plenty of offers of help) and that the extent of my patio-building knowledge came from these two tutorials on the This Old House website:

This Old House: How to build a sitting wall
This Old House: How to lay a bluestone patio

I’ll continue with the blogging during the rest of the project, so get excited for updates on “My afternoon with a giant rental power tool” and likely one called “Oh shit, my wall fell down, now what?”

In the mean time, check out the full project photo gallery embedded below:

Flickr – The back patio

Stephanie has been calling for it for months. And I’m finally giving in. We’re getting rid of cable.

“But SPORTS! I have to watch sports! What about my ESPN?” is what I used to argue. Now that they opened up ESPN3.com, that one’s gone.

“But the DVR! We won’t have the DVR anymore!” A simple check of our recorded programs shows 90% of our lineup is stuff from network TV, which we can still watch live or watch online.

The 100 channels of HD that Cox sends us are pretty nice, too, but are they really worth $100 bucks a month? We’re about to find out.

Here’s some more fuel on the fire. A graphic comparing U.S. adult TV watching to the time it took to create Wikipedia.

Kinda makes you want to turn off those “Design on a Dime” reruns, doesn’t it?

I got excited a couple weeks ago reading about a project in Wired magazine.

“Tie your digital camera to some helium balloons,” it said, “and take aerial pictures of your house.”

So, since I’m about eight years old at heart (it was an article about projects dads can do with their kids, after all), I convinced Stephanie and Quentin to play along last weekend as I tried to make the camera fly.

35 helium party balloons
500 feet of curling ribbon
2 rubber bands
1 digital camera

Simple enough. If we had a little more cooperation from the wind, it might have turned out even better. A stiff breeze and fading daylight made most of the pictures pretty blurry. But we did get a few good ones. Pretty fun way to burn a couple hours on a Sunday.

(UPDATE (5/27): Added some behind-the-scenes photos.)

And we tried some video, too.

[Wired - GeekDad DIY manual can smarten up kids on the sly]

We here in the VanKat household love things with character. You might remember that charming GREEN house we tried (and failed) to bid on. And thank goodness for that. Among other things, Shirley’s floor plan is much more accommodating to the furniture we already owned. And let me tell you, we do not have the greatest luck when it comes to finding and ordering furniture.

So now that we’ve owned our little abode for a year, we’re definitely ready to add our personal touch.

This plea is part of our overall landscaping/curb appeal/sprucing up efforts this spring, so I thought I’d re-introduce the landscape by committee posts and hope for some good feedback. (hint hint, please comment)

Since last fall we’ve been tossing around the idea to put an awning up on our dormer bungalow (I think that’s the name for this style house), and just haven’t taken the leap. Partly due to the snow and bitter cold that only waxed and never waned this winter, and partly due to the nagging thought that perhaps awnings are a bit passé and we should try something else to add some umpf. Maybe shutters on each side of the door like this adorable cottage:

If an awning is what we decide on, we’re thinking about a dome awning above the front door. After watching this HGTV clip we’re kind of toying with white and yellow striped canvas. But solid black or maybe black and white stripe would be a classier choice.

Eclipse on HGTV’s Curb Appeal

Eclipse Awning Systems | MySpace Video

Add your thoughts and suggestions and stay tuned for some exciting changes this Spring and Summer.

If you needed to refer to the initial landscape by committee post because you forgot what we’re working with, or haven’t seen it in person, get on over here and stay for a drink or two. If you’re lucky, I might make a meal. Or bake something. (which is more likely, anyway. Raspberry scones for tomorrow morning!)

Outdoor projects started last weekend. We took out the fence between our yard and the neighbors. We put it on Craigslist and a guy from York came and picked it up the next day, much to the chagrin of the other 11 people who called wanting to buy it. Who knew there was such a booming market for used fence sections?

This weekend, we’ll get to the planting.

Other changes in store: moving the bed upstairs, the TV downstairs and some more painting.

For those keeping track, this will be the second new color in the kitchen and third new color for the dining room. This time, we’re going with “Golden Fleece” which hopefully turns out a little less “holy crap yellow” than our last attempt.

Now that the driveway’s clear, I’ve moved on to tackling our ice dams. Obviously, the roof rake was a first step toward keeping our ceilings from caving in, but these 12-below morning aren’t helping our cause.

So, I turned to the internet.

Dear Google, I like our drywall. Help me save it. Love, Ben.

Aside from “Tips for packing up and moving to a warmer climate,” I didn’t get much help until I made it to the “This Old House” website.

Their experts told me to go buy some panty hose.

And, since my brain was frozen from being outside, I didn’t think twice about it until I got to Walgreens and found out they were out of the driveway-ice-melt-salt
stuff that Bob Vila told me to put INSIDE the panty hose to melt the ice dams.

So, I’m standing at the counter with two packs of jet black No Nonsense Ultimate Shapers, getting strange looks from the cashier and the women behind me.

“So, is that it?” the cashier asks, curling her lip.

“Yeah, since you guys are all out of tools, aftershave and Jack Daniels,” I should have said loudly.

I felt much more comfortable in the Lowe’s checkout line buying the ice melt. Now I just have to figure out what I’m going to tell the neighbors that saw me outside trying to figure out which side of the panty hose was the open end.

Today is snow day number two (for me, not Ben, unfortunately), and the extra free time has allowed for a little productivity with odd jobs around the house, as well as time to catch up on some old Sunday New York Times that have been piling up (my anniversary gift to Ben was a subscription to the New York Times…and for some reason I find it hard to keep up!)

Anyway, last night we decided to retry a dish we made some time ago. It was good then, but we made the mistake of using a generic (read: bland) for the key ingredient…curry powder. Big, flavorless mistake. So after a trip to Penzeys Spices (did you know it was a chain? I didn’t.) we were all set for take two. I think it turned out quite good this time so I thought I’d share it with all of Ben’s dedicated readers…

With some olive oil, over medium heat, soften a large onion and 3 carrots.

Then add two cloves of garlic and two teaspoons of curry (we used Maharajah) and stir it all up for about two minutes (oh it smelled so good!) Then toss in one cup of (uncooked) long grain white rice, 2 1/2 cups of water, some S&P and bring to a boil. Then reduce heat, cover and simmer for 15 minutes. After that, “nestle in” 1 1/2 pounds of thawed large shrimp (the precooked, peeled and deveined kind) that have been seasoned with S&P, and cover and cook for another 5-7 minutes.

Fold in 1/2 cup of fresh basil and…voila!

I’m a wimp when it comes to spicy foods, so the Maharajah curry was perfect. But next time I might get a bit daring and try a spicier one. Suggestions?

Does anyone have a favorite brand or a place to buy spices?

Don’t ask where the recipe is from. I have no idea…all through college and grad school I collected recipes that “looked good” and Ben and I have spent the past year eating our way through the pile.

One of the memories of my youth is helping Dad with the Christmas lights and the stories he would tell about getting them to work.

“You can test them 1000 times, but some of them always go out when you put them up. Usually the ones that are hardest to reach.”

That was like his motto. The first week of December was typically filled with cold fingers, moving ladders and grumbling.

I got lucky last year. My fingers were cold, sure, but all of the lights were brand new, so the hardest part of decorating outside was figuring out how to plug in everything with no outlet on the front of the house. (Solution: Two 60-foot extension cords.)

This year, not so lucky.

First problem: no bushes. The lack of shrubbery on the front side of our house means I have to get creative with about 10,000 small white lights. So, my brilliant plan was to string them along the roof line.

Target sells boxes of small plastic clips for this exact purpose. Those clips were something I always laughed at because I thought they were the cheap, easy way out. The right way to do it, I learned from watching Dad, was to build custom wooden frames to fit around each of the windows and doors. That way, you just leave the lights attached to the frames, each meticulously labelled with their location — “North dining room window” — and screw the frame into the house each year. Simple, right?

Yeah, simple if you’re a handyman genius.

I’m a rookie, so I bought the clips. And attached them to the gutters and shingles. Much easier than I expected and actually a bit clever in their design, but I’m still not convinced they’ll withstand heavy wind or snow. (Dad’s wouldn’t budge in a tornado.)

I plugged two strings of lights together to make sure everything was working, then scaled the ladder that we had precariously propped against the house using three boards and a retaining wall stone for balancing out the uneven ground.

It was slow going, but after about an hour of clipping, ladder shifting and clipping again, the lights finally spanned the front of the house.

“Hey look. We’re not actually going to need that second string, Steph. Can you unplug it since I’m way up here on the ladder? We’ll just use the extension cord and run it down the side of the house.”

Unplug. Replug. Fail.

The last 32 lights (all in a row) on the string of 150 decided they were done. The same lights that had been burning bright less than four seconds earlier. Now, nothing.

Maybe one’s burned out. Nope.

Maybe the cord is just twisted. Nope.

I called Dad and explained the problem. He was silent for a second, then sighed.

All of the sudden, I knew it was Christmas season again.

Dad came over this weekend for a couple basement projects, plumbing-related:

1. The outside faucet didn’t have a working shut-off inside the house. We decided that just disconnecting the hose and crossing our fingers hoping for no broken pipes was too risky, so we installed a new frost-proof faucet (who knew such a thing even existed?) and added a new valve inside for good measure.

2. Day Two of plumbing projects was for a big basin sink, good for cleaning up after painting and washing sweaters to save on dry cleaning. Again, having a handyman mastermind to do most of the work was insanely helpful.

So, we finished all that up, turned on the water, swept up all the dust, ready to celebrate a successful project. And then a hose broke under the sink.

Sometimes, you just shake your head.

* UPDATE * The part had to be ordered. Dad got it from some obscure Council Bluffs plumbing shop. It arrived today, and as soon as we put it on, the water pressure in the kitchen, which we have battled for MONTHS, magically returned. And it’s stronger than ever. Again, sometimes you just shake your head.

We painted the living room.

Two rolls of paint tape and a gallon of Sherwin Williams “Olive Grove” later, our couches aren’t causing a gold overload anymore.